🌟 Editor's Note:
I’m Steve, your LGBTQ+ adventure curator. If you’re tired of rainbow-washed travel tips, rigid group tours, or just wondering where to go, you’re in the right place.
This newsletter helps you plan thrilling, queer, safe escapes without the faff. Need help? Email me by hitting reply, or message me on LinkedIn. No bots, just me.
What’s inside this issue
My no-fluff process for building a 3-day adventure escape
The safety checks, tools, and gut checks I swear by
What makes a place a yes, a no, or a maybe
This week’s guest in the Campfire Questions
A bold new poll — tell me what you actually want
Main Feature
How I Build a 3-Day Adventure Escape From Any City
Let’s get one thing clear: a 3-day escape should feel like a break, not a checklist. You’re not cramming in monuments. You’re exhaling and stretching your legs. But it has to be safe, queer-friendly, and worth the effort.
Here’s my thinking and how I’d build it, step by step.
1. Start with the “why”
Is this a soul-reset trip? A cheeky recharge? An anniversary? Or just a break from staring at the inbox? Knowing the mood helps shape everything, from pace to place.
A wild swimming escape looks different to a wine-soaked ramble through parts of Europe
2. Pick a hub with adventure access
I always start with a city or base that has:
Solid transport links (train or budget flights)
At least one good day trip that feels wild or offbeat
LGBTQ+ friendly vibe, and I don’t just mean gay bars, but general cultural openness
3. Safety, access and the vibe check
This is where the subtle art kicks in. Obviously, if I’m planning for potential clients, I’d vet every place. That means:
Checking local LGBTQ+ laws and safety reports
Scanning Airbnb/Booking reviews for microaggressions. Does it feel inclusive or not?
Cross-checking Google reviews for signs of hospitality, or red flags
Actually speaking to fellow LGBTQ+ contacts and partners for real life insights (especially if we’ve not been there before personally)
A brief interlude …
I create LGBTQ+ friendly, non-tour-package adventures for couples and small groups. If you’re tired of trying to figure it all out alone, just schedule a free chat with me 👇
4. Sketch the rhythm, not just the route
A good 3-day escape has rhythm. That usually means:
One high-energy adventure (like a hike, boat, or forest wander)
One cultural or sensory hit (local markets, galleries, hot springs, wine)
One slower moment — a long lunch, a spa hour, a lazy morning
Too much action = stress. Too little = regret.
I often start with the highlight and build around it. Think: “If that thing is the memory, what needs to come before and after to make it feel wonderful?”
5. Consider who it’s right for (and who it’s not)
Some places are stunning but tough to reach. Or require driving. Or have a local culture that’s tolerant rather than truly welcoming. That’s where I call it and I’ll often say “not ideal unless you're confident, or going as a group.”
My job is to make that clear, not sugar-coat it. 😬
Conclusion: That is how I build my 3-day escapes (with a few other bits and pieces).
When I find the perfect sunset view, or the train line that glides past rolling countryside while I’m sipping coffee with my other half - and it all feels safe, well, that’s how I roll.
Quick Campfire Questions
This week, we’re lighting up the campfire with Michael O’Connor: Founder & Facilitator of Shaped by the Flow.
In this mini-feature, he answers 5 quick questions about travel, identity, and what keeps him coming back for more. Grab a cup of something warm, and join us by the fire.
Where in the world are you right now?
Berlin, but just back from hosting a retreat in the Azores. I’m also preparing for my summer visit to Vienna, where I check out the performance scene at ImPulsTanz, the very festival that first brought me to Europe almost 25 years ago as a dancer
What’s your go-to travel vibe? (e.g., slow & scenic, thrill-seeking)
Wandering. I’m not into ticking off monuments or museums. I’m much more likely to spend the day people-watching at a local café or following a tip from someone I just met. I like pretending I live there. If I visit a city again, I usually try to re-visit some of the places again. It reminds me of the previous time, kind of like time traveling: who I was then and who I am now.
One place you’d go back to in a heartbeat, and why?
São Miguel in the Azores. I sort of stumbled into it, and now I return twice a year, bringing small groups of gay and queer men to explore the idea of flow—through movement, somatic bodywork, and space to recalibrate. The island has a kind of living mythology. For centuries, it’s been a place where people pause to regroup and reorient. With volcanic cliffs, thermal waters, and terrain that seems to shift around you, it keeps you on your feet—present, responsive, alive. I use the landscape as a partner in the work: to help us feel less stuck, to restore a sense of agency, and to move forward with a little more clarity.
What’s your dream adventure, no budget, no limits?
A few months weaving between Southeast Asia and then teleporting to South America. I’ve never been to either and despite traveling everywhere myself, those places I feel called to go with someone. When I was 20 and made my first trip, I flew to Poland alone without a mobile phone. My wallet was stolen, no one spoke English, and I was saved entirely by the kindness of strangers there. That kind of raw adventure shaped me. But now, as I get older, I take fewer risks. Even though we now carry the internet in our pockets, I know myself better—and I’d want to share the culture shock and wonder with someone.
What’s one myth about LGBTQ+ travel you’d love to bust?
That meeting other gay travelers is always about hooking up. Queer connection doesn’t have to mean romance or sex. Sometimes it’s just about company—sharing a meal, walking through a new city, or connecting with familiar energy. It’s about safety and ease.
Thanks Mike, how can people find out more?
I’m hosting two retreats this autumn for gay and queer men interested in embodied connection and somatic exploration. Tuscany: Return to Self (Sept 21–28) and the Azores: Shaped by the Flow (Oct 18–26). Both are small-group and neurodiverse-friendly. Deadlines to sign up are early August. They’re not yoga, nudity, tantra or psychedelic retreats—so you could even write them off as professional development and see if your company could fund it as leadership training. Finding your flow benefits not just you, but those around you. True story!
Your opinion please… (if you don’t mind)
Outro
That’s a wrap on this week’s issue. If you’ve ever tried to DIY a trip and ended up overwhelmed by tabs, or second-guessing what’s actually safe, that’s exactly what I help with.
Like this issue? Forward it to a travel-loving friend. Or better yet, let me help plan your next one.
