Issue #22: 6 Queer Travel Traps You'll Regret

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• Why that rainbow logo might be lying to you
• When a romantic escape turns into Ibiza gone wrong
• The mistake most couples and friend groups don’t plan for
• What Instagram didn’t tell you about that destination
• Why ‘legal’ doesn’t always mean ‘welcoming’

And… a quick, cute poll to let me know what you really think

I talk a lot about where to go. But not enough about what can go wrong after you’ve arrived.

This issue isn’t about fear, it’s about foresight you only get from experience, or from hearing what other LGBTQ+ travellers wish they’d known sooner.

Because it’s not always the destination that lets you down, sometimes it’s the mismatch between what you thought a trip would feel like and what actually happens on the ground.

So before you hit “confirm” on those flights, here are six avoidable travel traps I see us queer travellers fall into, and a few ways to travel smarter next time.

It looks inclusive... but is it really?

Plenty of places slap a rainbow on the door or drop “LGBTQ-friendly” in their listing. But that doesn’t always reflect the experience once you’ve checked in.

A 2023 report by booking.com found that 31% of LGBTQ+ travellers felt they’d been treated differently by staff because of their identity, even at places marketed as “inclusive.” Worse still, many didn’t complain.

I’ve heard stories of couples being given twin beds despite booking a double. Stories of awkward silences when checking in. Hotel bars where staff were perfectly polite, but the vibe made it very clear you weren’t “their kind of guest.”

Here’s the thing: it’s not about needing red carpets and rainbow cocktails. It’s about being seen, being safe, and not having to second-guess your own presence on holiday.

My take
I don’t trust a rainbow logo on its own, and you shouldn’t either. I vet places the same way I’d check out a new date: I look at reviews, read between the lines, and always, always listen to what other queer travellers are saying.

Look for recent reviews that name LGBTQ+ experiences. Check platforms like Misterb&b. And if the accommodation has a social media presence, scan the comments and tagged posts, not the grid. That’s where the truth usually hides.

Booked a couple’s escape… ended up in Magaluf

Sometimes it’s the destination. Sometimes it’s the timing. But more often, it’s the complete lack of research into what kind of queer experience you’re actually signing up for.

In an Expedia study on LGBTQ+ travellers, over 43% of queer couples said they’d been disappointed by a supposedly “romantic” destination because the atmosphere didn’t match the expectation. Think: noisy party towns, rowdy straight stag dos, or that awkward moment when the “romantic” hotel turns out to be a hotspot for OnlyFans creators.

My take
There’s nothing wrong with clubs and cocktails, but know what you’re signing up for. A “top gay destination” isn’t the same thing as a couple’s retreat. If you’re not in party mode, it’s okay to swerve the big names.

Takeaway
Zoom in. Don’t just search for “best gay places.” Look at neighbourhoods, not cities. Look at why a place is popular. And if you’re planning a romantic trip, prioritise places that actually help you reconnect, not just distract you.

Burnout, boredom, or bickering; sometimes all three

Most queer travellers don’t plan for how a trip feels. We plan the route, the sights, the safety but not the rhythm. And that’s what leaves us drained by Day 3.

According to the American Psychological Association, one in five people come back from a holiday more stressed than when they left, often due to poor pacing, group tension, or the pressure to “make the most of it.”

This trap hits couples and small groups hardest. Too much sightseeing with no downtime? Exhausting. Too little stimulation? Boring. No plan for solo time, partner time, or group balance? Arguments incoming.

My take
I’ve learned the hard way that people don’t always want the same things, even people who love each other. Every good trip needs space for movement and stillness. The freedom to split off and come back together. The quiet bits are where the connection happens.

Takeaway
Build in “no plans” afternoons. Ask everyone before the trip what kind of holiday they’re expecting. Leave room for rest, spontaneity, and those unexpected detours that make the trip memorable.

That dreamy destination? Doesn’t always look like that when you arrive.

Instagram, TikTok, queer travel blogs are full of curated, dreamy content. But when you plan a whole trip around that one photo spot or viral reel, reality rarely measures up.

A 2022 ABTA report found that over 50% of UK travellers felt disappointed by a destination after being misled by social media, and queer travellers are especially prone, because the pool of relatable, inclusive content is still too small.

And let’s be honest: influencers are getting paid. They’re being hosted. That “hidden gem” you saw? It’s probably on 3000 other people’s lists now.

My take
Social media is a great spark but it’s not the full story. If a destination only looks good in a sunset filter or drone shot, it’s probably not worth your money. The best memories I’ve made never went on Instagram.

Takeaway
Use reels and posts as inspiration, then cross-check with personal blogs, forums like Reddit, and smaller LGBTQ+ travel accounts that share real talk, not just polished reels.

Yes, it’s legal. No, it’s not always safe.

We’ve all seen the glossy headlines: “X country just legalised same-sex marriage!” Great news, right?

But in practice, that doesn’t always translate to local comfort or cultural acceptance. In fact, 45% of queer travellers still fear discrimination in countries where same-sex relationships are legal, according to a 2023 study by Solace Global.

You might have the right to be there but still feel watched, whispered about, or low-key unsafe just walking down the street holding hands.

My take
Legal status is a starting point, not a green light. I pay more attention to lived experiences, local attitudes, and how people like us actually feel on the ground. That’s the difference between just surviving a trip and truly enjoying it.

Takeaway
Look beyond the headlines. Read accounts from queer locals and travellers. Watch vlogs, search Reddit, check LGBTQ+ safety indexes and trust your gut. If you have to ask “will we be okay here?” more than once, there’s your answer.

You arrive. Something amazing happened last week (or it’s banned this week).

You’ve booked the flights. The hotel. The dog’s with your mate. You’re finally on holiday.

And that’s when you realise: Pride was last weekend. The queer film fest ended yesterday. That legendary drag night doesn’t run in August. And, oh there’s a national holiday this week and everything’s closed (hello Europe!).

This one’s common. Even seasoned travellers miss out on the magic or worse, show up during a politically sensitive time without realising.

The UNWTO says that queer travellers are twice as likely to plan around cultural events, but also more likely to encounter sudden changes in policy or public sentiment especially in areas where LGBTQ+ rights are contested.

My take
There’s no heartbreak quite like realising you just missed something amazing. And on the flip side, walking into a bad vibe with no warning can sour the whole trip.

Takeaway
Check queer events calendars, local news, and even Google Trends before you go. And if there’s a major event you’re hoping to catch, build the trip around that not the other way round.

Conclusion: There’s a reason these traps hit so many of us. Most queer travel advice still focuses on where to go, not how it feels when you get there.

If any of these traps hit a little too close to home, you’re not alone. We’ve either lived them or we know someone who has.

And the more we talk about them, the less likely we are to walk straight into them again.

That’s a wrap on this week’s issue. If you’ve ever tried to DIY a trip and ended up overwhelmed by tabs, or second-guessing what’s actually safe, that’s exactly what I help with.

Like this issue? Forward it to a travel-loving friend. Or better yet, let me help plan your next one.

I’m Steve, your LGBTQ+ adventure curator. If you’re tired of rainbow-washed travel tips, rigid group tours, or just wondering where to go safely, you’re in the right place.

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