Plan thrilling, queer, safe escapes without the faff. Need help? Email me by hitting reply, or message me on LinkedIn. No bots, just me.
What’s inside this issue
The invisible calculations us LGBTQ+ travellers make
The desire to go somewhere different, but not feel like a target
The fear behind not wanting to waste dosh on a trip only to feel uncomfortable
A quick, gorgeous poll to let me know what you really think
My Favourite Finds
On the topic of safety, Gay Cities gives some further tips on staying safe while travelling
A fabulous Trans guide to LGBTQ+ Madrid
Hong Kong Pride cancelled without explanation. Sobering read.
20 years of UK Black Pride gets celebrated on the Rigour & Flow podcast.
Main Feature
How We Travel Without Looking Over Our Shoulders
This week, we’re talking about the quiet version of queer safety. The kind that impacts how we walk, touch, speak, relax, or second-guess ourselves on holiday. Basically, the kind you can’t Google.
It’s not about panic or paranoia, it’s about emotional energy. We ask ourselves, can we hold hands? Can I wear what I want? Will people stare? Do I need to be on guard? Safety isn't just about avoiding violence or legal trouble. It’s about whether you can exist without shrinking.
This issue digs into how we plan for safety without sticking to the same overplayed destinations.
1. What Safety Really Means for LGBTQ+ Travellers
As already mentioned, safety is not all about avoiding violence, it’s about feeling at peace (as much as possible) when you’re in a destination. Most of us are not naive, we know that homophobia exists in all parts of the world and even in LGBTQ-friendly cities
When I talk about safety, it’s the difference between:
Being tolerated vs. welcomed
Being stared at vs. being left alone
Being erased (“twin beds, right?”) vs. being seen
Safety is how relaxed you feel in your own skin and whether you can drop your shoulders, breathe deeply, and stop scanning the room. Because it’s exhausting when you can’t.
That’s why so many of us stick to “approved” safe cities like NYC, San Francisco, or Madrid. They’re predictable. They work.
But what if you want something quieter, wilder, or just… different?
2. How We Choose “Safe Enough” Destinations
At Outbound Adventures, we specialise in that middle ground, off the beaten path but not off grid!
So, here’s what we look for:
Legal + Social Safety
According to Equaldex, some countries have strong legal protections but weak social acceptance — and vice versa. We check both.
Local LGBTQ+ Visibility
Are queer people living openly? Are there queer-owned cafés, social spaces, or community events, even if not “out and proud”?
Vibe Check: Unspoken Safety
“Would I feel comfortable walking through town holding hands with my partner?” That’s not something TripAdvisor can tell you. It comes from lived experience, networks, and community insight.
According to a Globetrender report 72% of queer travellers avoid destinations based on cultural discomfort — not just legal risk. That discomfort might be subtle.
A side glance. A question loaded with disrespectful curiosity. A tone that makes you feel “other.”
3. If You’re Not Sure, Here’s What Helps
You can’t control what others think — but you can set yourself up to travel smarter.
Trust your gut, if the vibe’s off, don’t force it
Start with a solid base, a welcoming city or town gives you freedom to explore further
Follow real people, not glossy guides, Instagram, Reddit, newsletters like this
Build in flexibility, the freedom to pivot is powerful
Ask someone who’s been - preferably someone like you
The team at OutOfOffice.com recommends choosing destinations that align with your values not just your wishlist. I really like that perspective because the best trips make you feel curious, seen, and free.
Bonus for you:
Here’s a checklist (hover and save to your photos so you can refer to it later) to make your next trip feel both exciting and safe enough to enjoy.
A brief interlude …
4. If It Goes Wrong, What Then?
Even with research and careful planning, sometimes a place still doesn’t feel right.
Maybe it’s an uncomfortable interaction. Or persistent stares. Or a shift in your gut that says: this isn’t working.
Here’s what we remind our travellers and ourselves:
You didn’t fail.
The discomfort isn’t your fault. Some places just aren’t ready for you. That doesn’t mean you’re not ready for adventure, it just means you need a new setting.
You’re not stuck.
It’s okay to change your plans. Leave early. Check out. Skip a stop. Pivot. You owe no one an explanation — not even yourself.
Build in buffer.
Whenever possible, have a backup: a second base, a nearby escape, a break-day you can move forward. It’s freedom insurance.
Reach out.
Tap into queer networks preferably, groups you are comfortable venting to, or try local creators. And if you’ve planned with us? Message me, I’ll help you move on and move forward as much as I can.
5. Travel Shortcut: Curated Bundles
Get a curated bundle of 3 destinations, personalised to your interests. All queer-aware, culturally rich, and chosen for comfort and adventure.
Here’s how it works:
Tell me your trip style, interests, budget, and season (quick call or form).
I hand-pick and vet three destinations.
You get your bundle to review, ready to book when you are.
No endless scrolling. Just the right mix of safe enough and exciting enough.
Conclusion: Not every destination will love us back. But we deserve more than just tolerance. We deserve to feel like ourselves with travel that lets us breathe.
It’s bloody great not pretending to be just friends or scanning the room on high alert. It really, REALLY, makes the trip worthwhile.
Your opinion please… (if you don’t mind)
What’s your biggest travel turn-off?
Outro
That’s a wrap on this week’s issue. If you’ve ever tried to DIY a trip and ended up overwhelmed by tabs, or second-guessing what’s actually safe, that’s exactly what I help with.
Like this issue? Forward it to a travel-loving friend. Or better yet, let me help plan your next one.
I’m Steve, your LGBTQ+ adventure curator. If you’re tired of rainbow-washed travel tips, rigid group tours, or just wondering where to go, you’re in the right place.